110 Years Later
A hundred and ten years later, Dick Cavett ducks his head and gives his shy smile. Still boyish at 164.
“So tonight we have a very special show,” he says.
The Nine have issued the long-awaited Justice in the case of Audience Inc. versus the Dick Cavett show and the Big Beautiful Government.
This case arose from my 2025 show. The government screened the audience.
The screening question was: If you wanted to motivate a slow learner would you be willing to administer 350 Volts?
Those people who answered “Hell, yeah!” or with similar enthusiasm were considered excellent candidates for the Big Beautiful Government, given the standards set forth by Milgard. Shocking people who made mistakes…
But then it was discovered that 350 Volts was the name of a performance enhancing drug… Everyone wanted to help improve the performance of the government.
A careless mistake. So stipulated the Headless Horseman and Big Beautiful Government under seal buried by denials.
But the government is allowed carelessness. Only deliberate and intentional persecution is considered personal.
Otherwise, they treat you the same as everyone.
Audience was furious. Completely misidentified.
They claimed months of nausea whenever they heard their names associated with the Headless Horseman and the Big Beautiful Government and could barely face their friends with such a brand upon their names.
They wanted their disassociation noted immediately.
The government agreed. But couldn’t erase the past.
Anywhere. And, surprisingly, the past kept cropping back up like a plant that won’t die. “Oh, you’re the…”
No escaping the embarrassment and shame.
So, they went to court.
And today, after 110 years, we finally get the Court’s decision.
As you recall from the last time they issued a decision, the Justice’s names are no longer released to the public.
Only their decisions.
Too embarrassing.
They haven’t been seen in public in ten to fifteen years.
They fly from place to place in corporate perks or paid for by you and the government. They vacation on islands and trade property in other people’s names and cheat on their taxes. Their wives collect on their decisions and their husband rake in the cash.
And the publishers lap up the controversy.
You can see why they wouldn’t want their names revealed.
Each Justice is given 144 characters to give the decision. Then, the Government’s mouthpiece, Coyote News (Fare & Preyed), gets 144 characters to explain the decision.
And William Deur is responding for Audience Inc. and the Sons of Liberty.
Twitter Panel #1: “The justice system does not exist to protect the individual. No action lies against the govern—”
Dog News, what do you have to say about this?
“—ment. Exactly right. Separation of powers keeps order. This Court defends liberty by refusing personal vendettas as lawsu—”
“And Sons of Liberty, Mr. Duer, do you anything to say?” asks Dick Cavett.
“No action? No shield? You are alone before the throne, stripped bare, unguarded— Deposit another nickel to cont—”
“So there you are,” says Dick Cavett. “An individual cannot take the king to court.”
Twitter Panel #2: “An individual has no standing. Only entities recognized by law may sue. Audience refiled as Audience, Inc. and was he… ”
and by Coyote News: Fare and Preyed, “ …ard. That’s the genius of our system. Citizens United. Voice amplified by incorporation. Rights secured by corpor—”
“William Duer, Sons of Liberty, anything to add?
“You must become fiction to be heard. Flesh erased, contract enthroned. You vanish into ledgers, only a shell of— Deposit coin to co—”
Dick Cavett says, “As individuals, Audience had no standing to speak. But Audience, Inc. has rights that only citizens united has. A corporation can speak where a citizen is mute. Or moot? Any difference?”
Dick Cavett shifts a little uncomfortably. “I’m a little afraid to…,” says Dick Cavett. “But let’s look at Twitter Panel #3.”
“Standing requires a concrete, particularized injury. Public interest is not a right. No damages, no case, no tri—” (Coyote News: Fare and Preyed, adds:) “—al. Exactly. Courts handle facts, not feelings. Injury must be tangible. Stability preserved. Liberty secured by prece—”
William Duer, Sons of Liberty says:
“No injury? No shame? No wound to the soul? No breath stolen? No right denied? No future stolen? If pain isn’t harm, what— Deposit 5¢ to co—”
Cavett:
So there you are: no injury to the soul. Only the body matters.
Not mortal wounds to a man’s values and beliefs… LIFE – liberty, independence, freedom and equality has no place in law.
No evidence. No definition.
The law has no soul.
What then is the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness? Empty words?”
Dick Cavett shifts in his chair, fingers tapping the desk with the pencil and looking at the pencil. “Well… here goes.
Twitter Panel #4:
“An anvil—even horrific—suspended overhead is not injury. Fear is not harm. The rope intact, the guillotine unfallen, no da…” (CN:FYP) “…mage. Courts deal in facts, not what-ifs. No remedy for shadows. Only real cuts, real blood. Common sense, stability, prece—”
William Duer, Sons of Liberty, sputters: “No harm til’ the skull splits? Not harm till the rope snaps? The fear, the terror, the paralysis— all noth— Deposit 5¢ to cont—”
Dick Cavett lifts his eyebrows with a half smile. “It appears you need to have the guillotine fall before the threat will be believed. Put your suspicions in your will.”
Then he turns to another camera and takes a deep breath and says: “Now, as you all know, we all get a little weary about this time in the show. Dreary weary law, they call it in the Big Beautiful Government. So we’ve got a little break for you.
The Watts Globetrotters have a special reminder for all of you.
Catch a needy man
and put him on your docket
Never let him get away.
Catch a needy man
And put money in your pocket:
$147,945.21 every single day.*
*An estimate based on $4.5 million per month to house a few hundred people in Texas. The coolest part of Texas.
“Excuse me. The sponsors have indicated that they were doxed and this was not their responsibility. They will pay extortion as necessary to get permission from the Big Beautiful Government to continue doing business.”
“Well, perhaps this will do better.
Twitter Panel #5 is the special panel – the answer voted most patriotic and true.
Balloons fall from the sky, fireworks shoot in the air, a bugle sings “American the Beautiful”
And the panel turns:
Twitter Panel #5:
“Integrity, honesty, liberty, equality—no legal definitions exist. Abstractions are not enforceable. Only damages count, no exce…ptions. Exactly right. Noble ideals are poetry, not precedent. The Court defends law from slogans. Stability, clarity, Ameri—”
William Duer, Sons of Liberty: “No honesty? No liberty? No equality? You strip words, strip rights, strip life itself— Deposit 5¢ to cont…”
Dick Cavett says, “It is not proper to say that the law does not recognize values. That the law has no soul… The law does recognize values…. That’s all it’s about – who gets the biggest numbers.
But, sadly, LIFE – liberty, independence, freedom and equality has no value in the law.”
“And the law has no soul… So what’s left to save?
Twitter Panel #6 grinds to a halt. “Claims of soul-injury are metaphysical, nonjusticiable. Absent economic or physical harm, no cognizable injury at la[]w. Exactly. Courts protect facts, not fantasies. Soul wounds are sermon, not statute. Rule of law stands. Liberty secured, order ma—”
“No soul? No wound? No spirit crushed? No faith betrayed? No truth denied? The body screams but the soul— Deposit 5¢ to cont—”
Dick Cavett tilts his head.
I hadn’t ever heard it said this way. Let’s look at what they are saying.
Bodily injuries can be calculated by doctors bills times whatever number the insurance companies want to pay.
Emotional injuries can be calculated by two doctors who state the opposite of one another so that both parties can split things in the middle.
Contractual injuries are defined by dollars before the dispute begins.
But when your mortal soul is wounded by necrosis of values and meanness in the air and when it hurts to breathe the anger….
Where is one to go?”
Dick Cavett just shakes his head and moves on. The way he always does. But this time there is a lingering cobweb he can’t quite escape.
Twitter Panel #7: “Complaints of systemic bias are dismissed for want of jurisdiction. Judges are immune for acts within duty, yacht, jet, or island. Of course. This is judicial independence. Without immunity, rulings would be hostage to anger. Courts must be free, protec—”
William Duer, Sons of Liberty cries: “Immune on yachts, immune in jets, immune in palaces, immune while selling your rights at a bar tab in Mira La— Deposit 5¢ to cont—”
Dick Cavett leans back, his voice quieter, almost flat.
“I’m just thinking,” he says. “Does this make sense to anyone? All those trips are admittedly in the service of the country by virtue of their positions and, yet, do not impact their decisions?”
“I wonder what DOGE would say about that.”
He fidgets with his pencil, taps it once, twice. “Well… Twitter Panel #8.”
“The justice system does not exist to protect the individual. Standing preserves separation of powers. If the government is corrupt, that’s politics, not law. The Court’s duty is to guard institutions, not grievances. Stability requires limits. Order requires de—”
William Duer, Sons of Liberty: “Not to protect you? Not your life, your liberty, your freedom? Justice calls itself termite, gnaws your house, chews your na— Deposit 5¢ to cont—”
Dick Cavett stares a moment at the panel, the smile gone.
“The constitution over the Bill of Rights,” he says slowly. “Protect the king at all costs.”
No individual really has an action against the government because the government must give its permission to be sued. As so many veterans have discovered: no permission is forthcoming. No research or evidence. Until after death and then there will be a plaque.”
He shakes his head and looks at the audience, as actually looking into another man’s eyes.
Whew. I must admit, I rarely find myself consumed during a show… But we saw so many veterans suffering from diseases their government refused to acknowledge.
Children playing on ground radiating from fall-out.
Water too yellow to drink.
Sometimes a man needs to step out of his role and speak the words that need to be spoken.
Sometimes a man must become someone he isn’t so he can become someone he will be.
Dick Cavett closes his eyes, breathes, then straightens.
Twitter Panel #9 says:
“You misunderstand government. Idiocracy is reality. Article III is limited authority. The Bill of Rights was tacked on. We follow only the Constitution. This is restraint, not excess. The Court shows balance, virtue, continuity. Our system stands strong, principl—”
William Duer, Sons of Liberty cries: “Idiocracy reigns! Virtue erased. Rights discarded, sins enthroned. Your freedoms tacked, torn, erased— Insert 5¢ to co—”
Dick Cavett’s hands slam the desk.
His voice shakes the rafters.
“When will this ever end?
When will this ever end?
If there is a God in heaven or earth, there can be only one question—”