The Verdict

 The final session of the day is held at Federal Hall in New York – where George Washington took his oath of office.  The old stone chamber is lit by flickering lamps casting long shadows across the columns.  Outside, the sound of hooves circles endlessly along the cobblestones of Wall Street.

Johnny Carson is standing at a podium.  William Duer, Dr. Wiki, and Washington Irving sit at a table beside him. 

“Burfie, hello,” Johnny Carson says.

“Burfie, hello,” the audience echoes. 

Thank you all for being here.  I hope you had an eventful and interesting first day.  I certainly did…

I’m Johnny Carson and I, assisted by William Duer. will be your host today for our final panel:  Judging America. 

Yes.  Judging you.  All of you.

Our jury are men and women from colonial times who escaped the kings of Europe and the generation that fought for our freedom from kings.

The Headless Horseman was invited but declined the opportunity to appear. 

But his supporters are outside throwing things and breaking windows – waiting for their pardon.

Our final speaker today is Dr. Wiki.

Please note that Dr. Wiki is not a psychiatrist.  The DSM-VIII is being consulted for the values it reflects – not to prove derangement.  We are not endorsing labels.  Not even pretending they have ounce of validity as a psychiatric condition. 

Calling psychiatry a science makes a mockery of science.

But the diagnoses do reflect values.   

An individual value’s are reflected by the choices the individual makes.

Our country has established its values by choosing a leader who is  anti-social, paranoid, dependent, obsessive-compulsive, and delusional.

To present this argument, I turn the podium over to Dr. Wiki.

To applause, Johnny Carson sits down and Dr. Poindexter Wiki approaches the podium. Standing on his hind feet, with his forefeet on the podium, and his glasses on his nose, Dr. Wiki says:

Thank you, Mr. Carson.

Let me quickly establish the basis for my hypothesis. 

It’s called forced choice. 

Given a limited choice, people choose that which most closely reflects their values. 

A person who values truth, doesn’t vote for a liar.  A person who values empathy, doesn’t vote for a man who is cruel.  A person who values fairness, does not vote for a man who is arbitrary and impulsive.

It’s very simple.  Your choices define your self.

The only ethical defense for such a choice that does reflect your values is ignorance. 

And that is simply avoiding responsibility.  A trait well-represented in the Big Beautiful Government under the Headless Horseman.

America was founded on values.  LIFE – liberty, independence, freedom and equality.

In those days: A gentleman was judged by his integrity, honesty, and service for others. 

Please look up and see my first slide.

ANTISOCIAL BEHAVIOR

A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, occurring since age 15, as indicated by three or more of the following:

Failure to conform to social norms (e.g., repeated acts that are grounds for arrest)

Deceitfulness (e.g., lying, use of aliases, conning others)

Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead

Irritability and aggressiveness (e.g., repeated fights or assaults)

Reckless disregard for safety of self or others

Consistent irresponsibility (e.g., failure to sustain work or honor financial obligations)

Lack of remorse (e.g., indifference or rationalization of harm caused)

An antisocial personality mows down anything in its path. 

Goals justify harm.  Harm is never regretting.   

Failure to conform to social norms.  If it is desired, take it – even if it belongs to someone else.  Groping a woman in a dressing room and bragging about the ability to grab anything – because the rules don’t apply to him. Mockery and name calling – a way of claiming superiority by acting like a child.

A firehose of falsehood averaging 21 misleading claims per day.  Changing reality to fit what he wants to be true.  Not even pretending that data or truth has any value.

Impulsivity ritualized.  Firing people during tantrums, tweets as incantations, power grabs as performance art — from Greenland to the Kennedy Arts Center.

Aggressiveness.  Encourage violence from others – but hiding from them as well.  Never leading them into the charge.  “Take the gloves off.”  “Can’t you just shoot them? Just shoot them in the legs or something?”  “It’ll be wild.” 

His pawns are fungible.  Disposable.  Valuable only for their loyalty.  Their punishment a spectacle. He wants martyrs.

He never bleeds for his own blade. 

Plundering our country and others like privateers. 

Unconcerned with laws or treaties or fairness. 

Seeking his own benefit no matter who is harmed. 

Imprisoning people in private jails owned by friends bought for a room and bar tab.

No respect for law.  No respect for the rights of others.  No respect for the traditions of America.  No respect for education.  No respect for medicine.  No respect for science. 

No respect for the arts. No respect for history. 

People are to be used  and the country is to be plundered.

Thank you, voters of America. 

We are now a country of sociopaths and anti-social personality.

One cannot deny that the country founded by the generation of 1776 is gone and destroyed.

Integrity has become greed.

From the table, Johnny Carson says:  “Dr Wiki, surely you understand the danger of making such statements?”

Dr. Wiki says:

Of course.  Anyone can see the dangers in this man.  He admires North Korea and Russia. 

The meanest are the best. 

He likes brutes.

Power, to him, is stomping on people. 

Fortunately, I don’t really exist.

I’m a cartoon dog. 

Even he and his followers can’t get so upset that they attack a dog….  Can they?

“Are you attributing any limits to his cruelty, aggression, lies, and attacks?” William Duer asks.

“No,” replies Dr. Wiki scratching behind his ear. 

Essentially —

There is no difference between his followers and the Brown Shirts except opportunity.  Given the opportunity, they would behave no better.  Disregard for humans is disregard for humans.  It isn’t negotiable.  You care or you don’t.

You’re human.  Or you’re not.

You can’t deny who you are. 

You voted for this man knowing what he was.

Johnny Carson says, “Dr. Wiki, it is unusual for anyone to be quite so blunt.”

And why is that – do you think?  Because only one side of this debate is an anti-social personality. 

And the antisocial personality at the head of this cult, loves to egg them on and attack truth wherever it might appear. 

Any one who speaks against him must have a “death wish” – because his thugs are anti-social Darth Vaders hiding behind their masks and absolute obedience rather than humanity and virtue.

They’ll even attack a cartoon dog.

“Okay, well.  We’ll see what the censors do with this.  Thank you,” says Carson.

“Do you recognize anyone who fits this profile?” Duer asks.

Carson shrugs: “Nobody I’ve heard of.”

Dr. Wiki puts up the next slide.

DELUSIONAL BEHAVIOR

A delusion is defined as a fixed, false belief that is held with strong conviction despite clear or overwhelming evidence to the contrary. It is not simply a misunderstanding, misperception, or lack of information—it is incorrigible, implausible, and unshakable.

Delusions exist when:

The belief is held with absolute conviction.

It cannot be changed by contrary evidence.

It is false.

Dr. Wiki says:

Delusions are scaffolds for the frightened. 

They hold up a fragile ego when truth would collapse it.

 They are held without external validation because they are not true.  A delusional person cannot face ambiguity.  Cannot be wrong.  Needs everyone to confirm the delusion.

Typically, a delusion will be repeated because there is a magical belief that anything said often enough becomes true. 

Even when everyone knows otherwise.

“A stable genius.” 

“Crowds bigger than Barack Obama.” 

“I alone can fix it.”  

“Nobody knew healthcare could be so complicated.” 

“I’ve been treated worse than Abraham Lincoln.” 

“We won by a landslide.”

“The election was stolen.”

“I’m the most honest person you’ll ever meet.” 

“Nobody builds walls better than me.”

The bricks in the temple of delusion; the chant in the cult of the self.

Topped off by a military parade.

“Anybody we know?” Carson asks Duer.

“Nope,” he says.

OVERLY DEPENDENT BEHAVIOR

A pervasive and excessive need to be taken care of, leading to submissive and clinging behavior and fears of separation.

Wiki says: 

The Headless Horseman is not independent—he is addicted to adoration. He requires flattery like oxygen, loyalty like armor, and obedience like ritual.  He has an incessant need for reassurance, flattery, obedience, absolute loyalty….

He cannot stand alone. His decisions must be scaffolded by sycophants, his ego propped up by praise.

Obviously, these are part of his overall syndrome.  He is extraordinarily insecure.  Frightened like a child.  He cannot bear to be less than perfect.  He cannot deal with ambiguity. 

He needs absolutes and someone to reassure him at all times.

He delegates blame.  Places failure on his loyal minions.

He cannot stand independently or alone with the decisions he makes. 

They must constantly tell him how good he is.  How smart he is.  How he sees what no else sees.  Just as he tells himself. 

Surrounds himself by power and money.  Spends his nights watching himself on television. 

He demands a chorus of sycophants.  Allows no disagreement because he cannot tolerate doubt.” 

“Know anyone like that?” Carson asks.

“Not me,” says Duer.   “I’m not worried.  He’ll never recognize himself.”

“He’d have to acknowledge truth to claim damage,” says Carson.

“Exactly,” sais Duer.  “If the glove fits, you must acquit.”

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR

To meet the diagnostic threshold, an individual must experience obsessions, compulsions, or both. These are defined as follows:

 Obsessions:  Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are intrusive, unwanted, and cause marked anxiety or distress  The individual attempts to ignore, suppress, or neutralize these thoughts—often through compulsive behavior

Compulsions: Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, checking, ordering) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words) performed in response to an obsession or according to rigid rules

He must be in absolute control.  

Control is his altar.  Ritual his offering Mistakes are sacrilege.

Again this is a sign of a very serious weakness.  Fear.  Fear of being less than perfect.  Fear of making a mistake.  Fear that he is wrong.

Requires absolute agreement and obedience.  Loyalty tests.

Obsessed with minute details in everything he does. 

Must have total control.

“Ring any bells?” asks William Duer.

Carson says,  “All of them. But I don’t know for whom the bell tolls”

PARANOID PERSONALITY

A pervasive distrust and suspiciousness of others such that their motives are interpreted as malevolent, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts.

1.   Suspects, without sufficient basis, that others are exploiting, harming, or deceiving them

2.   Preoccupied with unjustified doubts about the loyalty or trustworthiness of friends or associates

3.   Reluctant to confide in others due to unwarranted fear that the information will be used maliciously

4.   Reads benign remarks or events as demeaning or threatening

5.   Persistently bears grudges, is unforgiving of insults, injuries, or slights

6.   Perceives attacks on character or reputation that are not apparent to others and is quick to react angrily or to counterattack

7.   Has recurrent suspicions, without justification, regarding fidelity of spouse or sexual partner

This is obvious. 

He trusts no one because he is untrustworthy.

He does not trust loyalty, because he has no loyalty.

Truth is treason.  Facts are sabotage.  The press is the enemy. Reality is the hoax.

His grudges are sacred texts, nurtured in tweets.  .

“Do you know anyone like that?”

Carson, deadpan: “Only from television. What’s the final count?”

Wiki says, “These categories are mix and match.  Highly unreliable.  We could continue to label him, but the behaviors become redundant.” 

He adds: “I’ve got 12 more.”

“Six has condemned us pretty clearly, hasn’t it?”

“Unfortunately so,” says the dog. 

He jumps off the podium.

Johnny Carson stands and goes to the podium.  He moves the chair used by Dr. Wiki. 

“We always like to end with a prayer,” he says.  “And, for that, we have the Reverend Doctor John Rodgers and the Right Reverend Doctor Charles Inglis.   Please give them an enthusiastic welcome!”

John Rodgers and Charles Inglis come bounding in holding a sign saying “The Revolutionary Reverends.”

John Rodgers taps the microphone and Johnny Carson winces.

The stand together.

In unison, they say:  “We are the Revolutionary Reverends.”

“I supported the king,” says Charles Inglis, the handsome one.

“And I supported the rebels,” says John Rodgers, the other.

“We did what we believed was right for our times and our people,” they say together.

Every choice you make is either for yourself or others.

If it is for yourself, the ripples of your life will disappear like a stone in a lake.

But if you join with others, you can flood the world.

“Most boys and girls want to be good,” says John Rodgers. 

“But it is difficult to know what is good and what is bad when everyone is angry,” says Charles Inglis.

“So how do you know what is good and what is not?” they say together.  “Love will always give more; hate will always take away.  Pain will cause withdrawal, a hug will bring you close.” 

If the message is hate:
it is meant to hurt.

If the message is fear:
it is meant to control.

If the message is blindness:
it is meant to deceive.

If the message is a lie:
it is meant to delude.

If the message is caution:
it is meant to warn.

If the message is courage:
it is meant to strengthen.

If the message is hope:
it is meant to encourage.

If the message is love:
it is meant to bring us closer
to one another
and, therefore, to God.

The two men, wigs slipped a little, bow to one another and shake hands and leave.

“Day one is adjourned,” says Johnny Carson.

And — finally — he gets relief.